Malaise - What is going on?

I don't know what the heck I drank last night, but I am so paying for it today. And really - I didn't even drink a lot (no, really). All day, I've been feeling like I'm operating on half of my usual brain cells and its so wierd. People talk and I know I should understand but I don't get it until way later. I had this feeling in Panama once as I walked across the border to Costa Rica (it was something about suddenly feeling like a refugee) and I thought I had malaria. It really freaked me out. It freaks me out today too because everything just feels so crazy...

God is Awesome

I don't get these moments of spiritual glee very often so I must address it now that I do. (Some series of events has turned me into an extremely practical/cynical, emotionally-mundane person -- still with the belief in God but not a lot of expression...boy, I'll have to devote an entire post just to that but anyway...)

I sat here and sort of thought about different events in life that have led to the extremely blessed person that I am today, and I realized that nothing or no one could have made all this happen, other than God Himself. As mentioned before, I have a wonderful apartment that I love. I also will be heading to a job on Monday that, despite my whining about not wanting to work in general, is by far my dream job. I am also living in Chicago, a city that I have absolutely loved ever since my frequent appearances with Leeza a few years ago. And I am about to be getting PAID.

I rewind my life back two years and think about where I was. Working at Ford, and I don't particularly love cars. In a position I didn't really like. Living with Mom --who I love dearly, but living with Moms is a bad idea. I knew I would get my MBA but was kind of indifferent as to where I would go and what I would do later.

Then somehow I get into CMU and I'm suddenly surrounded by geniuses and wonderful opportunities. I find out about consulting and aim for the longshot of getting a job with a firm. On a fluke (I seriously found out about Deloitte interviews the day before they came and had to be squeezed into the schedule) I get this great job. And here I am...

Who knows what happens next. My life at this point could absolutely suck and my dreams could be crushed. I do know that at this moment, however, I feel extremely blessed and high favored. It's like God has a favorite child, and I feel sorry for all you other siblings of the world that ain't got it like me :P

But really. I love it all. I love God. And I would be completely remiss in not giving Him the honor and praise he deserves for all He has given me.

Work! wow

So the time has finally come. I got my job offer in November, at a point where I couldn't even see the end of the school year. Then even in May when I graduated, I had an entire summer before me. It's crazy how 4 months can fly by like that - although these have seriously been 4 of the best months of my life.

But right now its Friday night, and I just moved into my new apartment and absolutely love it! The view is spectacular (check out the pic), the area is wonderful, and the place just feels good. I could imagine life just cruising on happily...



But really I can't because I start at Deloitte on Monday. I have always hated work. I've really never been that into any job I have - so that's really messing with my mind right now. Moreover, I am nervous as hell. I know they hired me for a reason, they're not going to just feed me to the wolves, I'm perfectly competent yada yada....But I just don't know what to expect. I really really want to perform well and make a good impression. And I don't want to hate my life.

So this is bugging me real hard right now. I could lie and say writing about it has helped, but it hasn't. We'll just have to see on Monday *fingers crossed*